“So how did you two meet?”
The question most online daters dread when asked about their new partner.
For most of us who used the internet to meet someone, we’ve done it because we are more confident online. However, my story’s a little different:
After being single for a couple of years, I was starting to wonder if there was something wrong with me. Was I gay? Was it because I was ‘big’? Was it because I was fussy? Was I ‘undateable’? I knew a couple of male friends liked me, and would be more than willing to date me, but I just wasn’t interested.
The truth was, I loved being single. I didn’t have to shave my legs quite so often, I could write and read for hours and hours at a time without being pawed at for attention and I could go on odd diets without watching someone eat ‘normal’ food like bangers and mash. So why would I destroy my little routine?
It started out as proving a point to a family member: that someone my size was attractive to the opposite sex. I signed up for the most recommended dating site, OKCupid. I liked the fact that you were matched based on how the questions are answered and that I could see where our opinions on things like smoking and children differed. To charm me, a man has to be witty, sharp, funny and kind, and you can tell 3 of those 4 qualities from how they set up their online dating profile. Short answers, ‘txt spk’ or using ALL CAPS LOCKS TO ANSWER A QUESTION are definite signs that we are not destined to travel the world together, or have witty debates in bed on a Sunday morning.
So I’ve found him. The one that was most promising, and after checking him out on Facebook (we have about 18 mutual friends) and figuring out he has worked with a couple of guys I know (great, less likely to be a serial killer), it got off to a good start. But how to tell people? We didn’t. At first, only a couple of his friends and my family knew. I could use the excuse of having lots of mutual friends and pin it on the person not present, but gossip cannot be stopped and eventually I began telling people where we had met; I started first with people at my new job- people who couldn’t judge me on my past.
With 1 in 3 recently married couples having met online, surely now comes the time to stop grinning and laughing at people who have met in this way, and instead start considering its effectiveness in helping some couples find one another?
There are still critics out there that suggest that online relationships don’t last as long as the ones that started offline, however I think people know there are more ways to meet someone now than ever before. They’re less likely to settle or even work through the unpleasantness of a difficult patch in a relationship. People aren’t willing to fix what is broken, but will happily go and take a chance on someone else.
No matter how you look at it, online dating is getting more and more popular, so the next time someone laughs at you for having met your partner online just tell them they aren’t getting invited to the wedding!
What do you think about online dating? Comment below and share your thoughts.
