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February 26th, 2024 | by milly.cooksley
Wikimedia Let’s Discuss: Sex Toys in Bed
This piece is written from the viewpoint of a straight female therefore I will be focusing on heterosexual couples, as I have zero experience in LGBT intercourse. I’ll leave that with the experts, with that said, let’s discuss the use of sex toys in bed.
I often hear that females are reliant on sex toys in order to achieve an orgasm. At the very least women find it far easier to reach an orgasm using mechanical aid, in comparison with having penetrative sex with a human male. Let’s look at it like this, the use of sex toys in bed can be taken one of two ways. On the one hand, wanting to make your partner cum is often the goal of sexual endeavours, and if sex toys are required to make this happen he may be more open to trying this out. On the other hand, it may leave him feeling slightly inadequate as he’s unlikely to move his anatomy as quickly as the rabbit function of a vibrator.
Sex toys are especially useful if one of you has a higher sex drive than the other, they can often help to sync orgasms. If a female requires sex more than her male counterpart, allowing him control of sex toys in bed, means he gains some satisfaction from knowing he still has a part to play and is helping her reach the big O.
I’ve been informed by a male acquaintance that the less life-like the sex toy, the less intimidating it is for a male. It takes away from the comparison of one’s anatomy, this individual also specified that veins are a no-go, however a silicon or glass based toy is a far more comforting – although of course this is just one male’s perspective. There are a number of slightly less intimidating models the two of you can use, more so than a rampant rabbit. In fact, websites have entire sections devoted to couple sex toys and no, it doesn’t just have to be females receiving all the pleasure. There has actually been an increase in male sex toys and although it’s probably less of the norm – perhaps the concept sits less comfortably with females – it is out there.
The most important thing to consider when thinking about using toys in bed – especially if you’ve had very little experience with them – is to remember that sex is fun and it’s fun to try new things. It doesn’t necessarily mean that your sex life has become monotonous or boring, it’s more so about feeling comfortable with your sexual partner and trying out new and exciting things. And hey, bringing toys into the equation can increase the experience for both parties – it’s a win win!
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milly.cooksley I am 22 years old and in my final year of my undergraduate sociology degree. I study at the University of Warwick but home is Somerset. I spent the third year of my degree on exchange in Copenhagen. All I want to do it travel, listen to music, write and play flag american football.
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